I'm back at the library, I'm going to order my new laptop charger today. Hopefully everything works out and I don't have to waste another penny.
Well. Today is basically the last day of my summer, but it's not like I really did much with it to be honest. But that's okay, it was a nice break from things. Frosh week, aka orientation for university, is this week and next week and can I just say that I'm absolutely terrified. I kind of live far away from the area so I'm not sure about the places I'm going to. Some of the events are okay and appealing but I'm a bit anti-social. Maybe that's why I started a blog, so I could just talk to myself some more, haha. But seriously, I'm terrified. I feel it in my guts and in my bones and I get the shivers. I'm not very good with meeting new people, and I can get kind of claustrophobic in huge crowds. But I said yes, because I don't say yes very often. Plus... I paid for it. I feel quite lost reading some of the details for this week... but here are some events.
UTSC Tent Foam Dance Party: A party
exclusively for first year students that will happen right here at UTSC. It
will include awesome dance music and lots of foam to go around.
Gabriello Pitman Hypnotist Show: An Orientation
tradition on the Scarborough campus, this hypnotist show guarantees laughs all
around as first-year students put on a side-splitting show for their peers.
Playfair: A very
interactive event for the whole first year student body, where the aim is to
have fun while meeting new friends!
The Scarborough Games: This will test
the brainpower, skills, and teamwork of the first year students. If you work
together with your team, there are amazing prizes to be won!
Downtown Tri-Campus Parade: Join first year
students and leaders from all three campuses as we make our mark as part of
this massive parade on the streets of Downtown Toronto.
The After Party: This year’s
party will take place at the North Beach exclusively for UTSC first year
students! This year will be epic as we dance to great music and mixes. This is
one party you do not want to miss!
I'm probably not going to the after party because I hate being out during late late hours, I find it kind of frightening. I'm spontaneous but not in a party girl, or loud kind of day. I'm not really excited because my fear and anxiety is taking over. I'm excited for university though because... well, that's a little secret I'll keep for a little longer. I really don't even know what to say anymore because I'm so afraid but I feel this huge pit in my stomach and it's so uncomfortable. But I guess I do have to put myself out there. So yeah...I'm spending the last day of summer writing a blog post at the library and my stomach is kind of rumbling. To add, I also don't like going out when my parents aren't doing anything. I feel really heart broken for some reason. It'd be nice to be with them or have them scheduled something for their days. I care too much sometimes but I kind of think it's a great quality but with difficult consequences. Gosh, I'm just rambling on...
I guess I'm most afraid of people not liking me. I find it hard lately to be okay with who I am, I pick on myself a lot and it's really hard not to when you're usually by yourself. Considering I'm turning 18 in two weeks, this should stop, at least I'll try to find help. In a week or two, depending if I'm comfortable about speaking to you (future me) about a little secret I've been hiding, I'll blurt it out. It depends. I have to weigh the pros and cons. Anyways, I'm too nervous to type anymore, plus my father wants to head out home. On the plus side, I donated some old treasures and clothing today so I feel kind of okay. I've just been worrying about how I feel like I'm the friend that everybody secretly hates and so I guess it rubs off on me that I'm a hateful person even if I do good things. I know I'm a good person, I do good things because I want to, not because I'm obliged to but there's just this part in me that feels I'm a horrible person. But that's a whole other blog post, not sure how I ended up to this topic. *sigh* I'll catch up with you later. Frosh is tomorrow and I want to vomit. (Vomit is such an ugly word.)
I guess I'm most afraid of people not liking me. I find it hard lately to be okay with who I am, I pick on myself a lot and it's really hard not to when you're usually by yourself. Considering I'm turning 18 in two weeks, this should stop, at least I'll try to find help. In a week or two, depending if I'm comfortable about speaking to you (future me) about a little secret I've been hiding, I'll blurt it out. It depends. I have to weigh the pros and cons. Anyways, I'm too nervous to type anymore, plus my father wants to head out home. On the plus side, I donated some old treasures and clothing today so I feel kind of okay. I've just been worrying about how I feel like I'm the friend that everybody secretly hates and so I guess it rubs off on me that I'm a hateful person even if I do good things. I know I'm a good person, I do good things because I want to, not because I'm obliged to but there's just this part in me that feels I'm a horrible person. But that's a whole other blog post, not sure how I ended up to this topic. *sigh* I'll catch up with you later. Frosh is tomorrow and I want to vomit. (Vomit is such an ugly word.)
<3 Little Mer
I completely understand where you're coming from with being afraid to meet new people and such ESPECIALLY because it's a brand new experience.
ReplyDeleteMy first year was last year, and let me tell you I was so frightened to be at a brand new place with people I didn't know. I had those awful butterflies in my stomach-- you know when you get SUPER nervous?
But it's also a great experience because this lets you meet a ton of new people! And the best way to do that is just fight those butterflies and that nervousness! Trust me, it's quite a bit different from high school.
I'm an Orientation Leader at my school this year (I go to Humber College by the way!) and I see tons of nervous people, but I totally get it.
The frosh events will be super fun! Just go out and try to be as friendly as possible (even just saying hi, what program are you in?) literally everyone does that for the first week.
Of course when you read this it'll be a bit late for that, but keep it in mind for some of the other events and stuff!
Don't be too nervous, by the end of the day you'll thank yourself for it! :)
(Sorry for typing a novel...)
Aw shucks, I totally appreciate this so much! Yeah, I get the awful butterflies just thinking about but I'll for sure take your advice and fight it. :) And ou, Humber! That's not too far! Small world :)
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