Q&A

I decided to write a rather large q&a as I watch the summer finale of Pretty Little Liars. I'm in love with Caleb by the way. That hunk of a mess. <3 This post was queued from last night! This is actually quite a pointless post but anyways, I'll stop rambling now.

Do you have any siblings? 

Oui. I have 3 older sisters. 10 years difference. 

How old are you? 

I'm 17, turning 18 on September 11th. Aka two weeks from today. I'm terrified.

What's your height? 

5ft 5" 

Do you have any pets? 

I have a pet stuffed Mandrill named Rafiki, just like from Lion King. I'd like to have a Labrador pup, but I get quite the allergies around doggies.

What do you enjoy doing in your spare time? 

I love travelling to France...I wish. I love spending time with my family so much, especially with my nephew.  I like to paint, draw, play basketball/volleyball, sing and play guitar, take nature walks and BLOG!

Who inspires you? 

I find something inspiring in everyone/everything I see. I can't really choose. But I'll add in that my mother inspires me so much. 

What do you feel is your greatest achievment? 

Getting into a university...gosh, it's difficult. And not letting high school screw up my views on life everything good.

What do you value most in life? 

The fact that I am alive another day, and I get another chance to love everything and everyone whole-heartedly. 

What do you do? 

I'm about to enter my first year of university in a week, which is quite exhilarating and horrifying. I haven't been hired for a job yet... which is pretty discouraging. 

What is your dream job? 

Hmph. I would like to work somewhere around the world, France, Italy, Japan, maybe teaching English. But I also love the arts...I'd like to have an art studio and help children with disabilities express themselves through art and literature. I'd also like to take a year to build homes, schools, and help poverty stricken areas develop! 

What is your ethnicity? 

I'm Filipino...mainly Filipino. My grandparents are a whole mix of things, a lot of people see me as Spanish, and I get it quite often. Other see me as Persian, or Indonesian, or Chinese. I look nothing like it, but I enjoy people's guesses. 

Do you want to get married later on in life?

OH OF COURSE. I love weddings, but I hope to meet someone who is more interested in a beautiful marriage rather than a beautiful wedding. I already know the music and decor I'm interested in. I'm a huge wedding freak, I love them so much and follow quite a few wedding blogs. 

Do you have any phobias? 

I'm literally terrified of death, it really does haunt me. Which is why I'm going to stop talking about it right now. Other than that. MICE. GROSS. I hate little tiny rodents. Not sure why, but I guess it's in my genes if my entire family hates them. But I love rabbits and all those other little animals. Guinea pigs and hamsters I'm a little iffy. Definitely not my favourite. But yeah. YIKES. 

Have you ever had a near death experience? 

I'm not sure, but I remember the cup size for some cough syrup I was taking was extremely large and basically...I overdosed and I hallucinated and thought I was a tiger and I almost took a wee in my refrigerator.

Do you get mad easily? 

No I do not, I get more saddened or frustrated in replacement. I usually get angry at video games because I obviously am not a video game person. 

Favourite childhood memory? 

I remember raising Monarch butterflies from the tiny eggs to caterpillars to cocoon to hatching! It was so amazing and beautiful and a tad bit smelly but nonetheless it was an unforgettable childhood experience. Nature girl from the start, ohhhh yeaaaah.

Do you have a favourite book? 

I love Will Grayson Will Grayson, The Notebook, Memoirs of a Geisha, Perks of Being a Wallflower, Alice in Wonderland, A Million Little Pieces, these are just recent ones but I can't find myself to come up with ones from long ago!

Do you watch any UK tv, if so what is your favourite? 

Hmm, I watched Misfits and what's that one with a lot of nudity and swearing... um...SKINS. And also this comedy about IT... The IT Crowd? Team? Somewhere along those lines!

What is your favourite type of sandwich? 

The oh-so-fattening peanut butta and jelleh

What is your favourite reality tv show? 

Do the Shaytards count? I don't watch much reality telly

What wesbite do you visit the most besides youtube, blogger & facebook? 

Polyvore.com, tumblr.com, miniclip.com, stylefinder.com and I love to online window shop! I'm not much of a computer person, I used to, because I'd just socialize on skype and watch television shows and movies but to surf the web, I get tired of it.

How do you make your blog interesting? 

PUT YOUR HEART INTO IT. Or something like that.  

Do you like photography? 

Oh yes yes yes, although I'm quite an amateur, I am in love with photos and taking photos of absolutely everything because I always see something picture worthy about it! Little details are what count sometimes

Can you show us some of the photos that you're proud of? 

OUI! Here ya go!

Do you like stationary? 

I have this small obsession with it. Especially cute and colourful kinds!

What is your favourite disney film? 

Why are these questions so difficult....erm. The old classics I love Snow White and Pocahontas...the new ones, I love WALL-E. 

Whats your favourite dessert? 

LEMON MERINGUE PIE. And anything that's mildly sweet but not custardy. Banana breads are a fave too!

Do you like swimming? 

No I don't. I absolutely LOVE it. One of my favourite feelings in the world is just float on my back and feel that weird feeling of the water surrounding your head. It's quite relaxing if you ask me!

Do you drink juice? 

I'm not much a juice drinker but I do adore making my own organic juices and smoothies as well. If only my Magic Bullet wasn't broken.

What's your favourite movie? 

The Notebook, Perks of Being a Wallflower, Space  Jam, 500 Days of Summer ...much MUCH more, I'm a movie junkie but I'm trying to write this post as quick as possible because my hair is in need of a wash. 

Do you eat fries with a fork? 

It depends on the fries and their toppings :) If they're plain, hands, if there's gravy, like on a poutine or all dressed, they forky fork fork!

Do you like cookies? 

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmhm. I love macadamia nut cookies or ginger biscuits!

If you could move anywhere, where would it be? 

FRANCE. ITALY. IBIZA. HAWAII. AUSTRALIA. AGH.

Savoury or sweet? 

SWAVOUREET... Sweet. Sorry.

If you had to describe yourself as a fruit, what fruit would you be? 

A kiwi. Because I'm fuzzy on the inside like a kiwi. Wait. No. Darn this question. A kiwi because they may not be as appealing on the outside but once you take a bite out of me (not literally), they can be pretty amazing. Also, green is one of my favourite colours!

Favourite flower? 

White Lillies, white dasies, sunflowers! I love soft pastel coloured flowers.

Favourite colour? 

CHARTREUSE. Look it up sucka.

Do you drink energy drinks? 

Coffee is all. I've never tried an energy drink in my life.

Do you drink coffee? 

Oh. I guess I answered this one already. 

If you could have a dinner party with 5 celebrities, dead or alive, who would you invite? 

Elvis Presley, Ed Sheeran, Ryan Gosling, Rachel McAdams, Justin Timberlake. I DID THAT ONE IN 5 SECONDS BECAUSE....I would definitely create an entire list making my hair suffer and even longer time.

<3 Little Mer

Cozy cozy cozy

Cozy cozy cozy by littlemer featuring a bracelet bangle

Pre-Frosh

I'm back at the library, I'm going to order my new laptop charger today. Hopefully everything works out and I don't have to waste another penny.

Well. Today is basically the last day of my summer, but it's not like I really did much with it to be honest. But that's okay, it was a nice break from things. Frosh week, aka orientation for university, is this week and next week and can I just say that I'm absolutely terrified. I kind of live far away from the area so I'm not sure about the places I'm going to. Some of the events are okay and appealing but I'm a bit anti-social. Maybe that's why I started a blog, so I could just talk to myself some more, haha. But seriously, I'm terrified. I feel it in my guts and in my bones and I get the shivers. I'm not very good with meeting new people, and I can get kind of claustrophobic in huge crowds. But I said yes, because I don't say yes very often. Plus... I paid for it. I feel quite lost reading some of the details for this week... but here are some events.

UTSC Tent Foam Dance Party: A party exclusively for first year students that will happen right here at UTSC. It will include awesome dance music and lots of foam to go around.

Gabriello Pitman Hypnotist Show: An Orientation tradition on the Scarborough campus, this hypnotist show guarantees laughs all around as first-year students put on a side-splitting show for their peers.

Playfair: A very interactive event for the whole first year student body, where the aim is to have fun while meeting new friends!

The Scarborough Games: This will test the brainpower, skills, and teamwork of the first year students. If you work together with your team, there are amazing prizes to be won! 

Downtown Tri-Campus Parade: Join first year students and leaders from all three campuses as we make our mark as part of this massive parade on the streets of Downtown Toronto.

The After Party: This year’s party will take place at the North Beach exclusively for UTSC first year students! This year will be epic as we dance to great music and mixes. This is one party you do not want to miss!

I'm probably not going to the after party because I hate being out during late late hours, I find it kind of frightening. I'm spontaneous but not in a party girl, or loud kind of day. I'm not really excited because my fear and anxiety is taking over. I'm excited for university though because... well, that's a little secret I'll keep for a little longer. I really don't even know what to say anymore because I'm so afraid but I feel this huge pit in my stomach and it's so uncomfortable. But I guess I do have to put myself out there. So yeah...I'm spending the last day of summer writing a blog post at the library and my stomach is kind of rumbling. To add, I also don't like going out when my parents aren't doing anything. I feel really heart broken for some reason. It'd be nice to be with them or have them scheduled something for their days. I care too much sometimes but I kind of think it's a great quality but with difficult consequences. Gosh, I'm just rambling on...

I guess I'm most afraid of people not liking me. I find it hard lately to be okay with who I am, I pick on myself a lot and it's really hard not to when you're usually by yourself. Considering I'm turning 18 in two weeks, this should stop, at least I'll try to find help. In a week or two, depending if I'm comfortable about speaking to you (future me) about a little secret I've been hiding, I'll blurt it out. It depends. I have to weigh the pros and cons. Anyways, I'm too nervous to type anymore, plus my father wants to head out home. On the plus side, I donated some old treasures and clothing today so I feel kind of okay. I've just been worrying about how I feel like I'm the friend that everybody secretly hates and so I guess it rubs off on me that I'm a hateful person even if I do good things. I know I'm a good person, I do good things because I want to, not because I'm obliged to but there's just this part in me that feels I'm a horrible person. But that's a whole other blog post, not sure how I ended up to this topic. *sigh* I'll catch up with you later. Frosh is tomorrow and I want to vomit. (Vomit is such an ugly word.)

<3 Little Mer

Back To School Comfort

Back To School Comfort by littlemer featuring silk scarves

Alone

I decided to write another blog post today because I've been thinking a lot about this topic today and I just needed to let it out. Being alone. Being alone is different than being lonely. Days like today are days where I'd like to be alone but there are days where I do feel lonely. It's been such a gloomy day in Canada, but surprisingly I'm kind of fond of them because I love the rain. I'm currently waiting for the rain to pour. But I'm getting off track.

What my definition of being alone is enjoy your own presence and appreciating. No doubt, you can be alone and feel lonely at the same time but I feel that it's better to feel lonely when you're alone, rather than when you see a sea of people and feel alone. That's the loneliness that stings. But today was one of those days I just wanted to be alone and I wish people would understand that it's okay to be alone and not to look down on people that do, indeed, enjoy being alone most of their days. But I do suggest to expose yourself and meet up with people and all that lovely stuff. When I'm alone, I just want to lay on the couch, watch some movies, cuddle with blankets, have some snacks, write some things on here, and find some new good music. I don't want to speak to anyone, answer any calls, or reply to any texts (especially because I really do hate texting so if I text you regularly...you're pretty awesome then). I'm sorry if it comes to me pushing you away, but days like these are something we all need. However if you need me urgently, obviously, I won't hesitate to help.

However, being lonely is doing all those things but looking for someone to do it with. There's nothing wrong with wanting or missing a significant other. But the problem is, people cannot always be at your side physically and we should learn to love being alone with who we are first before we love others or others choose to love us. It's unhealthy to not be happy with ourselves. By being alone, we can find what we like, what we don't like and ultimately learn so much more about ourselves. It's a chance for us to grow, so take that chance. There are days where I do feel lonely and I'm not sure why, but what I'm sure is that we do get days like these. It's important to feel the trials in order to realize what a victory is in life.

On a side note, people may think extreme negative thoughts when they're alone. I'm one of those people. I feel that I just need to think negatively all at one in one day so I can just think it, release it, and just get over it, you know? Because what's the point. You're alone anyway. It's not going to hurt anybody... so just get rid of those thoughts today before tomorrow comes. But like I said before... the goal is to be okay when you're alone. If you're not... find ways to improve. There's always, ALWAYS, room for improvement. And I'm not saying you're not a good enough person that you constantly need to improve. I'm just saying, find ways that make you a happier person. Learn to love yourself before you love others. You'll truly learn and understand what it means to love in your eyes. So after you've been going out for 12 consecutive days...take a break. A little breather, grab some popcorn, relax in bed. No phone. No internet. Just you, and you alone.

<3  Little Mer

Moments of Imagination

Start time: 4:15PM, now playing: Paper Knees by The Careful Ones (this one's super calming and quite addicting)

I told you I'd bring a much more interesting blog post. I found this gif set on Tumblr the other day and I thought I'd respond to it. They're basically words from different languages/places with definitions along them. They're very unique words and there probably isn't a word we could use a replacement in English so I thought it was really fantastic. I decided to write down the first thing I see or pops into my mind when I read the word and its definition. I love using my imagination! Here we go:

meraki: In this situation, I see something I love to do the most... paint, which my favourite music playing in the background. I'm on a balcony of a lovely, little white house in the woods and the sun has just risen. I'm wearing my fuzzy socks and I'm sitting on a nice homemade stool. Everything feels quite blissful as I watch the strokes of my brush on the canvas and blending the yellows, oranges, and reds of the autumn trees I'm painting that are standing in front of me. I've just finished the piece and now signing the canvas and I've never felt so happy in my life. :)

jayus: I see myself sitting in a small cafe across someone who could perhaps be the love of my life. We're just getting to know each other and we're playing this game where we have to make jokes in at least two minutes. They end up being "jayus-es" and we just laugh the entire morning away sipping on coffee and just understanding each other a little bit more after every jayus. Tehe.

komorebi: I'm laying down in an empty field with this gigantic tree perched in the middle. I'm laying down on my back reading a good book and I take my eyes off the page and see what is above me. The sunlight shines through and I just...sigh. Everything is so peaceful and I don't want anything to end. I go and run through the fields and twirl and see my polka dot dress makes a huge bubble and I just feel the sunlight on my skin and it's amazing.

mamihlapinatapei: It's a rainy day and I'm waiting at the bus post. I have no umbrella and neither does the lovely man standing by the bus shelter. Neither of us actually wait at the bus shelter and we can't help but glance at each other and wonder why we'd rather stand under the rain than stay warm and dry. We smile with our eyes and a smirk is created on our faces. We're both too afraid to say hi and as I see he's about to walk over, two different buses drive by and we're off on our own separate ways.  

cavoli riscaldati: It's been years since I last saw him. We never ended it well, nor did I realize it ever did end. We left each other with unanswered questions that are still out there until this day. Of course, we've both moved on. But I opened an old memory box and see a picture of us, before love was even part of the picture. I think... we're older now. We've got our lives under control, I hope... so maybe this time around it'll work? Behind the picture is a phone number he wrote years ago. Maybe it's the same number, so I dial and my heart stops when I hear a sweet "hello?" 

l'esprit de l'escalier:  I haven't opened up to anybody new in the last two years. I've always ended up having horrible endings to relationships because I cared too much. Guys were afraid of hurting me and seeing I was too delicate. I finally met somebody, but I'm not going to assume what comes out of this first date. He walks me to my front door and tells me so much about how he loved the past 6 hours of getting to know me. He wants to see me again. All I can say is that I'm very thankful for him and for today and I wish to see him again. He gives me a little forehead kiss and I walk into apartment, wave goodbye as he sits in the taxi, and I shut the door. I lean my back against the door and think, "I should've opened up too...I mean, he did. He did so much for me today and didn't even realize. That this is the most comfortable day I've had in the past two years, that today I've never smiled or laughed or felt warm in the longest time, that I'm scared. If he can tell me that... I should have. Now I feel I put him in my position of thinking he cares too much. Next time. Next time, I'll tell him."

fernweh: I've just come home from a long grocery shopping trip and I'm laying on my couch and the curtains are wide open and I see open fields. I think about what I should cook for dinner. Italian? And I see Venice outside my window and how I would love to have dinner on a gondola or something corny like that. Maybe I'll try escargot as I watch the twinkling Eiffel tower beneath a starry sky. Something Greek? I think of all the places that inspire me and how much I just want to visit them and it hurts that when I'm back to reality, I'm just staring at a field of grass. I just want to be up in an airplane, riding a cruise, feet in the sand, shoes on the gravel sidewalk, climbing buildings, and ultimately, exploring the world, experiencing it and trying new things. Maybe I'll just mac and cheese with mashed potatoes.

<3 Little  Mer

End time: 4:52PM

The Most Productive Lazy Person Ever

Start time: 7:51PM, now playing: Can We Dance by The Vamps (Gosh, I love them oh so dearly)

I've been doing a lot of...nothing lately. Well, yes, I've been doing things but little chores and errands here and there so I'm probably the most productive lazy person ever. I've also been having really horrible nightmares lately, so I haven't been finding myself in a mood to discuss about anything in my life. But I'm back.

As you can see below, I have started a new Polyvore account. I used to have one long ago but then my computer kind of broke. My old laptop is still working and such but the charger is not. Anywho, Polyvore is a place where you can create your own outfits, beauty combinations and interior/exterior design templates or whatever tickles your fancy. I find it as a really good time killer when you've got nothing to do! I also enjoy fashion however I barely shop for myself so it kind of satisfies my shopping need when I feel like I want to shop, if that even makes any sense! I've also just been hanging around my little nephew (who's turning 4) and we've gotten much closer now that he's starting to understand things a bit more. Today's my sister's birthday and we'll be celebrating on Monday, and I'm quite excited to see her since I hardly ever do, but she'll be moving back in with us when we move into our new home! Hmm. I'm sure I've done a lot more these past couple days but I'm seriously getting stumped.

*15 minutes later*

Oh yes! I have been a cooking fool with my mother. We tried so many different new recipes including homemade organic nachos, banana bread and these coconut treats that I shall name delightful coconut balls. They're pretty amazing for my first try! I've also been doing a lot of working out lately and eating pretty well. I've cut rice 90% out of my diet which is real good! I also picked up this little thing today...

 I've also been doing a lot of working out lately and eating pretty well. I've cut rice 90% out of my diet which is real good! I also picked up this little thing today...

I'm sure unattractive photo identifications are part of growing up. I'm afraid of university. It was as simple as taking a picture that made me want to puke by guts out. I was so nervous and I always prepare myself mentally for the worst things that could happen. I'm not sure what else I've been doing to be honest. I've just been a bit bummy lately and I miss a lot of people. I promise I'll write again about some more interesting things soon. I also decided to try on my hand me down knitted sweaters from my sisters and I obviously had to take a selfie. They didn't crown me selfie queen at prom for no reason. Hehehe. Here you go. (Hi Rizelle)

Stay cheeky! 

Lots of love <3 Little Mer

End time: 8:36PM

Lazy but cute for autumn

Lazy but cute for autumn by littlemer featuring a red dress

13 Song Playlist

Start time: 1: 34 PM *I'm listening to each song as I write about it*

I just got a beautiful little challenge from one of my good friends and it was music related so how could I say no!? This was pretty difficult. Basically, it's the 13 songs of your life sort of thing and explain the significance of it or how it represents you. I chose the songs at the top of my head because if I looked through my albums I'd have such a difficult time. So here you go! (Ps, I also attached a favourite little line from the song)

Listen to each song here, in this playlist! Just click "play all"

1. Go Do by Jonsi, this song reminds how short our lives are and how we should just take every chance to GO DO something with it. Scream at the top of our lungs, run until we're out of breath, fall in love, travel, grow, experience." Go sing too loud, make your voice break, sing it out! Go scream, do shout, make an earthquaaake"

2. Home by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros, this song tells me that home is not a place, but it is the people we cherish and who cherish us. The things that make us feel like home are attached to thoughts of the people that are special to us or make us feel a certain way or bring up memories. Invest your time and love in people, not material things. "Home is whenever I'm with you"

3. Sweet Disposition by Temper Trap, this song puts me in a trance of pure relaxation, I swear. I like how it makes me feel the good in life without even having to think of it. You just sit back, feel the music and breathe. "So stay there cause I'll be coming over, and while our blood's still young, it runs, we won't stop til it's over, won't stop to surrender"

4. Give Me Love (Layered) by Ed Sheeran, Ed Sheeran has been a favourite for a while now. He shows that great things can come in small packages (and I hope you're not thinking with a dirty mind). It's one of the most calming songs that build up to such a huge moment of emotion and I feel stress get released from my bloodstream and it's just such an amazing song! It's okay to love someone that you may never end up being with. I love him to bits. "And that I'll fight my corner, maybe tonight I'll call ya, after my blood is drowning in alcohol"

5. On My Own by Samantha Barks (Les Miserables), Oh my! I love this song oh so dearly. It's such a heartbreaking song with so much emotion. Whenever I'm feeling down or heartbroken or feeling lonely, I usually listen to this song because of my favourite line: "I love him, but everyday I'm learning." Another day of ache is just another day of getting stronger!

6. Transatlanticism by Death Cab for Cutie, My playlist is filled with such sad songs, but I love them so much. Especially this one because I love the buildup of the instrumentals and it just relaxes me. I read some post about what the title could mean and it really got to me! "Transatlantic means to go across the Atlantic, while 'cism' would mean belief in something. So what I think it means it he believes in something that is worth going across the Atlantic for. The song itself talks about going to find someone that needs to be 'so much closer'. The whole album is about finding and losing love." "I need you so much closer.."

7. Let Her Go by Passenger, Oh look, another melancholic song, what a surprise, oh my. To be honest, songs teach me more lessons about life than probably anything or anybody else. I'm not sure if that's a good thing, but this one taught me how we all need one thing when the other is gone. "You only know your lover when you let her go". You gotta appreciate things when you have, the way you have. It may be the best thing that someone has given to you or the best people are trying to be for you. We shouldn't expect more than what is given to us, or expect anything at all. When it comes down to it and those things and people disappear in our lives, we realize we needed them more than ever.

8. Please, Please, Please Let Me Get What I Want by The Smiths, I might as well call this post the 13 songs of sadness. I'm not sure why this song made it on to my playlist but I had this gut feeling it needed to be there. It makes me think of all the people in the world that almost never get it their way, even when it comes to the simplest things, but knowing how far they've made it kind of amazes me "So for once in my live, let me get what I want, Lord knows, it would be the first time."

9. Gravity by Sara Bareilles, Accept the inevitable. Change what you can change. Don't be sorry for the inevitable. Especially heart break and the conditions and states people are in. Not all these situations will last forever, but if they do, make it the best forever. As for temporary ache, experience it as much as you can so you will learn to avoid it the next time. "Set me free, leave me be, I don't wanna fall another moment into your gravity."

10. Can't Help Falling in Love by Elvis, I just needed a little Elvis on here. I love me some Elvis. I also listen to this song when I'm reading my Elvis biography book, hehe. "Take my hand, take my whole life too."

11. Such Great Heights by Iron & Wine, This song makes me feel like I'm literally on top of the world looking at things at such great heights. It reminds me to look at the bigger picture of things, especially when it comes to difficult times in life. Most of the time, we, as humans, focus on that little paint splatter in the corner of a beautiful art piece instead of admiring what is actually there for us to see and appreciate. Does that make sense? Sometimes we just need to take a little break, and let our minds sit and think about how fortunate we are in our lives. 

12. Just Like Heaven by The Cure, This song makes me think, I'm not sure why. But I adore songs that make me think and enjoy it at the same time and not go crazy with the over thinking. "And threw her arms around my neck 'Show me how you do it, and I promise you, I promise that I'll run away with you'" I like fantasizing about cute little scenarios to this song too.

13. Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas by Judy Garland, I had to! I had to put in a Christmas song. I usually listen to this song when I need an extreme pick me up. It makes me feel warm and cozy like I'm by the fire place watching twinkling lights by the window and seeing the different Christmas decorations. Reflections in ornaments, putting the star upon the tree. Snow ball fights, rolling down hills, ice skating, naked trees, blankets, knitted sweaters, hot chocolate, and smiles galore. Goodness, I'm so excited for Christmas. I wait for it all year round. Everything is good, everything is grand, everything is full of heart and love and happiness and thanksgiving and smooches and hugs and warmth and...good. "Let your heart be light, from now on, our troubles will be out of sight..."

<3 Little Mer

End time: 3:11PM

A Little Advice from Momma

Start time: 6:28PM, now playing: Ribbons in the Sky by Stevie Wonder

Well hi there! It's me again. I didn't sleep last night because I've been having horrible nightmares so I was too afraid to sleep. I watched the sunrise from my room instead and listened to music. I got a little restless so I decided to get out of bed. I didn't do much today but read and cook all day with my mother, who is an amazing cook. She taught me how to make two different pastas and empanadas from scratch. I had no clue how to make any of it. She was being kind of hard on me for my first time but it was because she said I had to be tough, and use my head and some quick thinking is involved. She told me, it doesn't matter if you make a mistake, the mistake is if you don't try in the first place or giving up right away. I know she was implying something more than just my cooking skills which I appreciated and listened to. My relationship with her does get a little bit inconsistent but today was a good day full of trying new things. It also proves you can try new things in the comfort of your own home. On another note, my nephew finally took a poop in the big potty and it took an entire month for him to be able to! He's going to school this year which kind of makes me nervous because kids are getting meaner and meaner each year. I still need to pick up a couple of things for school, such as my laptop charger and pay for frosh week. Oh! I forgot to tell you a story that had happened to me yesterday! I had borrowed books under one of my friend's library card, but since I had moved I hadn't had the chance to go to that certain library and so I totally forgot that I had the books and the late fees accumulated to 32 dollars. I was pretty sad because I really hate when money goes to waste. So I was at the library, finally after 3 months, and I felt like I was going to gag my guts out! I was the usual, quiet and awkward and just smiling like a fool. She thought I was a lovely and very polite girl and so she let me off the hook a little bit and allowed me to just pay $20 and appreciated I came by to pay in the first place. Moral of the story: If you're nice to others, the world will be nice back. SO BE NICE KIDS.

I'm about to have a movie marathon with my packs of sour Big Foot candy! Hope you're having a beautiful day, you beautiful person.

<3 Little Mer

A Not So Little Update

Start time: 6:12PM, now playing: silence

My blogs haven't been as consistent as I wish they were because it's difficult typing on a cellular device when the screen keeps flickering. I also have no laptop, so I made a trip to the library today. I'm currently sitting at a computer named Smart, the one next to me is named Mayer. I love libraries. Since I don't have my own space at home yet (as I'm still living in with my sister's family as my new house is being built), I feel like the library's the only place I feel okay and safe and comfortable in. Thank goodness for the inventor of places where you can read and take out books/music/movies for free and the people trust us with that. It's pretty darn awesome. Anyways, I'm getting off track here. I'm typing as fast as I can because my father wants to use the computer too...but I mean, we have 3 hours until closing so yeah.

First, I'll just talk about the past few days and what I've been up to. I don't usually go out because 1) I live pretty far and there's not much to do when you're almost always alone. 2) I have no ways of transportation. The public transit is quite complicated when it comes to new neighbourhoods and can get a bit pricey. 3) My parents aren't really the gallivanting type. So this leads to me just staying at home trying not to be... bleh. I love staying at home sometimes, but that's when I plan out my days. Reading, writing, blogging, eating, watching television and films... etc. When it comes to reading I like reading a couple books at the same time because it fulfills what I'm craving to read. For example, love and romance, science fiction to horror, humour to inspirational. You know? Sometimes I like to write some poems, which are basically just random thoughts that pop up in my head which I put together. I usually keep these to myself. Then blogging. I'd be blogging a lot more if my laptop wasn't broken, but I'll hopefully be getting it back next week. I have a new mini composition book in which I use to make lists and ideas for what I should write about and such because I couldn't keep all of those ideas just stuck in my little head of mine. Kidding, my head is kinda big... As for eating, I try to make my meals/snacks a little more presentable since I have so much time on my hands...leading me to take countless photos of my beautiful creation. (Don't judge me). And for watching shows and films... I am very grateful for Netflix and dvd players. I watch a bunch of random shows and I'm usually into family films. Other than all that, I do try to get out of the house for walks and such. However, I'm very prone to getting bug bites and that's why I'm waiting for the weather to get cooler. At the moment I have around 8 mosquito bites and one that's literally the circumference of a baseball.

Wow, I wrote a lot. I really did miss writing down things about my life. The past weekend I've been to parties. Not the kind of drink too many shots and get wasted and have a hangover the next day party. I went to a 6 year old's party on Saturday and I supervised the children. My nephew had so much fun except for this rough kid who kept pushing him down and throwing spikey balls at my face. Why do children like seeing other people/things get hurt? Hmph! I remember back in grade 5, some of my friends would randomly burn ants with a magnifying glass... it was horrible. Anyways. I had ice cream cake and I was a pro bubble blower. I could seriously blow the best bubbles, the size of the kids' faces. I'm not exaggerating!  And then yesterday, which was Sunday, was one of my good friend and old neighbour's birthday. She's turning 18 and just like how it was for the past 10 years of knowing each other, it was just the two of us. We spent the night playing Lips, which is a singing video game. We created our own girl band and we sung Taylor Swift, Hilary Duff, Avril Lavigne and Maroon 5 all night! Don't forget the Spice Girls! It was a lot of good fun and that's the kind of fun I like. I'd rather star in a girl band than puke my guts out with a bunch of people I barely know. But that's just me. My friend lended me 8 new dvds, most of them are animated films. I watched two of them last night: The Croods and Wreck It Ralph. I'm a huge crying mess when it comes to animated films, I always find something to be emotional about and that's why I love them oh so dearly. It brings me back and it makes me feel like I was 5 except I've learned to appreciate them more.

Other than that I caught up with two old friends I knew since I was in elementary and it was really nice to talk to them again. One of them is a friend I knew since I was in grade 2 or 3 but he kept moving everywhere. He's a really funny guy and he never fails to make me laugh! He's really reassuring about me and my self esteem and confidence and it helps me a lot. So if you're reading this, thank you dude. Thanks for listening and also being able to tell me about your own life and all that crazy stuff. You're pretty awesome. Another friend I met in grade 7 or 8 and we just started talking yesterday and so far we've just been talking about farting dogs and dads and raccoons. He's hilarious. I haven't really been seeing anybody lately since I'm stuck at home. It's weird, seeing all your friends every day for 4 years and now not seeing them at all for 2 months. That's why I can't wait for university but that's a whole other story... Anyways, thanks for reading my... not so little update about life. You're pretty awesome too. *pat on the back*

<3 Little Mer

End time: 7:12PM

50 Facts - Part 2

Start time: 10:29 PM, now playing: Little Joanna by McFly

Well howdy! What's up? I'm just going to continue the 50 facts with a little thought at the end! I've been trying to occupy myself with a bunch of things at home and I'll tell you about it in my next post. Since I have so much time right now, I'll finish the big 50 today:

21. I am totally okay with doing chores and most of the time I enjoy them...I usually do them on my own but when someone starts telling me to do things I was already going to do, I lose motivation and get a little bit frustrated.

22. I absolutely love family and fantasy (not sci-fi) films. I love Slappy and the Stinkers, Little Rascals, Avatar, Percy Jackson, Journey to the Center of the World etc!

23. I usually read things in an English accent...and sometimes I randomly say things in an English accent. I have countless videos on my friends' phones of me speaking in that accent. It's kind of an obsession.

24. A lot of people expect me to have Barbie Girl as my theme song or something because I can be really bubbly. But...I'm actually a hardcore band geek and some old school hip hop. Well I love so many darn bands and rappers. And people get shocked that I know a lot about them.

25. The way to my heart is french fries, good tea, nature walks and amazing taste in music. And must understand my appreciation for them.

26. I HATE FEET!

27. I also hate being center of attention. It makes me feel so sick.

28. I'm a super quiet girl with really random bursts of excitement...esp when talking about things I love.

29. I almost never wear matching socks and I'm sort of known for that.

30. I don't consider myself ever to have been in a serious relationship, just petty middle school infatuations.

31. I love bright lipsticks and curly hair. But my hair is naturally pin straight. I've also never dyed my hair.

32. Apparently I have thunderous thighs.

33. I have this fear of getting close to people because I assume they'll always leave.

34. I love shirts with cute collars but I only own 2 of them. I also love knitted cardigans and sweaters.

35. I never take my glasses off unless I'm about to sleep or I'm showering. I wear them at the pool, in thr rain, ziplining, playing sports etc...

36. I want my own art studio in the future.

37. I'm a letter writer. I frequently write letters to different people or always thinking about what I could write about.

38. I take LOTS of photos. I don't like forgetting the little things in my life.

39. I forgive easily and it leads to people walking over melike a welcome mat sometimes.

40. Before I was born, my house was engulfed in lava in the Philippines.

41. I LOVE POPTARTS AND FRENCH TOAST CRUNCH.

42. I'm half blind in my left eye.

43. I've cut my hair off completely twice in my life and my best friend in high school said I looked like Edna Mode from the Incredibles and everybody started calling me that for an entire year.

44. I grunt a lot. Not in a dirty way ...but when it's silent I just say UGH OR EUYGHHDDBUVBGXVBN

45. My nails are so round wheb they're short...stubby fingers :(

46. I am literally afraid of growing older. It gives me goosebumps and my heart gets so heavy in fear.

48. I'm a very calm person when I'm angry, I usually never show signs if anger. Probably the only feeling I never show.

49. I truly feel sorry for those who constantly complain about life. They take too much time complaining about the little negative things to actually appreciate and live their life and see how fortunate they really are.

50. I will not change for anybody.

"Difficult situations are simply opportunities for improvement."

End time: 11:42 PM

50 Facts - Part 1

Start time: 11:39PM, now playing: Transatlanticism by Death Cab for Cutie

Well hi again! You're still looking quite fantastic just like the last time. You've got a nice glow today! Since I just started this whole blogging thing, I decided it's only right to officially introduce myself. I'm still changing my blog around and adding a few links here and there but for now I'll keep it to the basic blog post itself. I've already made a Youtube video of 17 facts about me at 17 so here I'll try to think of other ones to share with you! 50 to be exact... (however it's getting kind of late so I'll post the first 20 facts)

1. The reason why I made my blog title "The Little Mer" is because my name is Merissa and apparently it means "princess of the sea" so I thought mermaid and I felt so clever with my play on words with The Little Mermaid...and I thought it was super duper cute.

2. I'm Filipino and a crazy array of other backgrounds. But a lot of people think I'm half Indonesian, Persian, Egyptian, Brazilian, etc... it's always something bizarre when people guess my background.

3. As crazy as it seems, I love horror movies. Even crazier, I usually giggle or laugh where others scream and cry. I'm not sure why but I always find something funny about the scary parts in horror films.

4. I'm terrified of growing up. And I mean TERRIFIED. I'm afraid I won't live my life to the fullest and I won't be happy in the future and my life will just end I wouldn't have done anything with it.

5. I have this gigantic, enormous, and wild passion for art, literature, culture and adventure. I really want to experience most of the world while I can and really embrace what the world has to offer. Some places I'm dying to go see are France, England, Ireland, Australia, Ibiza and Italy. It's my dream.

6. I have this extremely fat conscience and I'm pretty sure it's not a positive thing to possess. Even when many people have hurt me deeply in the past I can't find it in my heart to stay mad for more than a day, let alone a week. I don't want to waste moments being angry. Can't we just all say sorry and love each other and feed each other cookies?

7. This probably should have been my first fact if I wasn't over thinking for which facts to write about.... I LOVE ED SHEERAN. THAT'S THAT.

8. Every year I have a goal to read x amount of books. Last year I read about 50 - 75, this year I'm going to try 75.

9. I always start and end my days with tea and I love experimenting new ones. My favourites include Earl Gray, french vanilla green tea, regular green tea, peppermint tea and oolong! Oooo long!

10. As having photography as a little nitty hobby, I notice all the little details. From little freckles to the veins on leaves and the scratches on wood... everything. Usually I keep quiet about them and just admire them. A lot of people don't understand how special little details are but I'm glad I do!

11. I accidentally ate cow tongue once. My family tricked me. It was horrible. I cried.

12. I don't understand why people are so unnecessarily mean to each other. It really breaks my heart when others have this need to find something about another individual for them to pick on.

13. I'm the type to be friendly with many many people but keep a tight knit group of friends and I adore and love them so much for sticking around.

14. I'm a nature girl. I love everything about it and adore all the little things about it. I love cloud watching and taking hikes at 6 in the morning. Just me and nature, I love it.

15. I'm not a party person. I love quiet get togethers with my friends and family. It's very simple. I love having a good time. I'm not fond of getting wasted to the point I'm puking my guts. I love the innocent fun. It makes me appreciate life more. Beaches, fairs, amusement parks, the shopping mall. Little places, little things, lots of love and quality time!

16. I'm constantly trying to make my meals look more fun. If it's making sliced apples into a flower or turning pancakes pink, you know it's me who's behind it!

17. I get attached to fictional characters. They all have a place in my heart and I know they are fictional characters but I do appreciate the personalities they possess and fall in love with them. They love, I love. They hurt, I hurt. Kinda twisted but let's just say.... I'm...unique. Hehe.

18. According to my lovely friends, I sound like a muppet and they usually take every opportunity to mock my voice... I feel like some days I sound like a man and some days I sound like I'm a Disney cartoon.

19. I would like to learn how to ride a unicycle. Would somebody like to anonymously mail me one? That'd be very cheeky of you.

20. I'm a huge basketball fan, Allen Iverson and Kevin Durant are my favourite players as of right now. As girly I may seem, there are days and moments where I'm more manlier than my own father.

End time: 12:44 AM

...until tomorrow! x little Mer

Why Hello There, Blogger World! How Do You Do?

Start time: 3:24 AM

This feels great. A place to lay my thoughts out in the open to keep track of. This really does excite me. I'm currently sitting in bed making my first mobile post on this blog with my half broken cell phone. Episode 15 of How I Met Your Mother's season one is subtly playing in the back. It has been a long summer Monday...filled with lazy shenanigans.

Maybe I should explain why I'm here sitting at 3 in the morning making a blog post. I've always wanted to keep track of my life, for my personal purpose and if people wanted to join in that experience, that's awesome too. I thought, "Youtube" and so far I have a total of 6 videos...6 random videos. I thought making video blogs would help with my scattered mind, but I'm better with words and writing them down. So here I am! The videos are for my future self and so are these, for my future self to look back on. The videos didn't really contain or reflect much of what I really thought about or who I am because ultimately we choose what it is we want to expose to viewers/readers whether it be 20% to 50% to even 80%. I thought making an official personal blog (other than Tumblr) would really help in what I wanted to achieve. To really appreciate every moment of life by reflecting on it and writing about it. Also, it could be a way of communicating with many people, including my friends, and you all may get to know me a little bit more. And they are easier and faster to make than videos but I will still be making them! However...I'm running off track now.

Let's just say these blog posts will be the very deep corners of my mind but not the deepest of deepy deep because I believe we all should have and keep certain thoughts to ourselves. It's something that we possess that nobody can ever invade without your consent, and we should cherish things like that. I'll be writing once a day. Photos will usually be attached, along with the quote of the day and the song or background sound playing. I'm getting the jitters with all this excitement! Who knows what these future posts will be about but I absolutely can't wait. :)

Whoever is reading this, thank you. You've come this far, meaning you've read the entire blog post and that is something I really do appreciate. Stay cheeky! x (you'll be hearing a lot of that word, it's my favourite...cheeky, hehe)

Quote of the day: All that matters is that you enjoy your life, to be happy, that's all that matters - Audrey Hepburn

<3 Little Mer

End time: 3:50 AM